getting it done gets it done
In The #makeithappen Guide, I’ve shared several key techniques for managing your time.
Time management is a powerful, practical tool necessary for overcoming the big obstacle of not practicing that you are bound to face as you strive to create regularity of practice (remember that regular practice is the one and only thing required to obtain results with the MVMNTCHVRCH program).
I speak a lot about time management because it is one of the biggest areas of struggle for most folks when it comes to establishing regularity of practice. The other big struggle you will face comes from unhelpful ideas, ideas which grow from the toxic soil of perfectionism.
Unhelpful ideas can impact your regularity of practice in exactly the same way that a traffic jam, sick child, or unexpected overtime can.
These smaller obstacles (whether an idea or an inconvenience of “real life”) will, just like dominoes, create a chain reaction that leads to that big, bad obstacle of not practicing.
Some folks think that this doesn’t apply to them. “Look at my messy kitchen,” they cry, “I’m clearly not a perfectionist!” Or, “I never cared about misspellings or grammar when I was in school, I wasn’t the teacher’s pet, I’m no perfectionist!”
But perfectionism encompasses many mental pitfalls; it isn’t just about having a clean house or being fussy with a term paper.
Consider the following questions:
Do you ever compare how you do something to how others do it?
Do you worry that your way is lacking, that you’re missing something, that you aren’t going fast enough, aren’t accomplishing enough, that you’re falling short?
Do you think that you should be “further along” than you are because you’re “X” years old?
Do you feel anxious that you’re doing things the “wrong” way?
Do you apologize for how you approach your own life?
Do you ever think something like, “when I _____ (lose weight / get that degree / make more money / clean my house), then I’ll be _____ (successful / desirable / loveable / happy)?”
At the heart of perfectionism is the false belief that our worthiness is conditional.
In other words, perfectionism is the lie that until we change how we are, or how life is, we don’t deserve happiness, love, success, etc.
One sneaky way that perfectionism manifests is in binaristic thinking. This is a belief that there is a “right” way and a “wrong” way to do things, without holding space for the nuances and complexities that occur within the context of real life.
When you set out to add a new, healthy habit to your life (like a daily movement ritual from MVMNTCHVRCH), perfectionism can rear its ugly head and use rigid, binaristic thinking to throw you off your game.
Here are a few examples of how this might show up for you:
• You set out to practice six days a week, but miss a day (or a few days, or a week) and then feel ashamed, embarrassed, or think that you’re a “failure” so you quit altogether. You might even think something harsh like, “I knew I couldn’t do it; I always screw up like this,” and feel discouraged when you try to make a positive change in the future.
• You set out to practice three days a week, and accomplish this for several weeks, but then start to worry that you aren’t getting everything out of the program. Maybe a friend started at the same time as you, and has practiced more often than you; you imagine they are “miles” ahead and you have no idea how you’ll catch up. You start to feel worse and worse about your own progress and finally give up, figuring that what you’ve done doesn’t matter anyway.
• Although you were never “athletic” or “sporty” as a kid, you decide to give MVMNTCHVRCH a shot. You find you enjoy it, but feel anxious about practicing when anyone else is home, worried that they’ll judge your body and how you move. And since the program isn’t like the workouts you see on YouTube or TV, you worry that it doesn’t “count.” Even though you were noticing improvements in how you felt, you quit practicing because the way you move doesn’t “fit in.”
In all the examples above, perfectionism has interrupted your progress by demanding an unobtainable condition.
In the first example, the unobtainable condition is “perfect attendance.” Even one day missed is a total failure and wipes out all previous progress.
In the second example, it’s the “stretchy ruler.” No matter how much you do, you’ll never measure up when the goal keeps moving farther away.
And in the third example, the unobtainable condition is the “square peg, round hole.” When you assume that your way is the wrong way, it’s impossible to see or enjoy your own success.
It’s important to note that in all of these examples, the unobtainable condition that perfectionism demands of you is also unclear.
Why do you need to have perfect attendance? Why not simply show up the day after a missed day and keep going?
Why do you need to catch up to your friend? Why not practice as often as is feasible for you, so that your practice is molded to fit your life, not the other way around?
Why do you need to do what everyone else is doing, or in the way that everyone else does it? Why is it the square peg’s job to change its shape; couldn’t you look for a square hole?
This is what makes perfectionism so insidious.
It tricks you into believing that only if certain conditions are met will you be good enough. And the conditions it places on you are impossible to meet because they are never clearly defined.
Further, you didn’t choose or agree to these conditions; you simply know that, according to perfectionism, no matter what you do, it’s never enough.
But the truth is that your worthiness is an inherent and integral part of your humanity, it is not conditional.
You cannot earn that which you already have.
Perfectionism is a waste of your time, making you chase your tail in a game that can’t be won.
Knowing that perfectionism is an obstacle that will arise allows us to prepare for it, in exactly the same way you have been preparing yourself to manage other obstacles throughout The #makeithappen Guide, by crafting a strategy.
Perfectionism will try to tell you that what you’ve done isn’t good enough because you haven’t met an unclear, undefined, unobtainable condition — so we are going to flip the script.
• • •
1. Understand that success with this program is unconditional.
There are no conditions to meet. You don’t have to approach MVMNTCHVRCH in any certain way. You don’t have to have perfect attendance. You don’t have to measure up to anyone’s standards (not even your own).
2. Readjust your sights onto the only target that matters: getting it done.
There are no conditions to meet. The only thing to do is practice, regularly. Not perfectly.
3. Define “done” in a way that works for you.
My favorite way to do this, the way that works best for me and my clients, is explained through this saying: Getting It Done Gets It Done.
There are no conditions to meet! This is a “yes” or “no” question. Did you practice? Yes? Congratulations! You got it done!
A whole practice, Just Five Minutes, just 30 seconds? It doesn’t matter: done is done. Six days a week, three, one? It doesn’t matter: done is done. Didn’t feel like it, had a “bad” attitude, looked or felt clumsy? It doesn’t matter: done is done.
Any time the devil of perfectionism whispers in your ear that you didn’t do it good enough, often enough, fast enough, or that you did it too fill-in-the-blank, you look that little jerk square in its beady eyes and tell it: Getting It Done Gets It Done.
4. Finally, most importantly, celebrate every single, itsy bitsy success; celebrate every single time you get it done.
Celebrate it and do it again. Show up as often as you can for as long as you can and then do that again the next time you can.
Then celebrate again!
Changing how you think about and define success is an ongoing process. And I’m not saying it’s easy. But letting yourself feel good about your successes, no matter how small, will make them something you are more likely to repeat.
Repetition is regularity.
This is how you get it done, and keep getting it done, over and over.
This is how you establish regularity of practice.
This is how you take a fledgling healthy habit, whether that’s the MVMNTCHVRCH program or something else in the future, and turn it into a path you are walking towards positive change.